Beware of Toxic Positivity!

Guess what – I wake up every morning and look in the mirror and say to my reflection:

“I am strong and abundant, I attract wealth and happiness”.

Just joking with you, I couldn’t think of anything worse. When I wake up, I greet the cat and head downstairs (not so much as slowing when passing mirrors) and make a strong cup of tea, I even add a spoon of sugar, shocking I know.

You see, it is normal and natural to experience an entire range of emotions. Trying to suppress or deny the difficult or negative emotions by telling yourself or others to “just think positive” or “look on the bright side”, “it’s all for a reason” more often that not amounts to unhelpful or toxic positivity. It can be equally unhelpful repeating affirmations that do not align with what your subconscious mind is telling you.

Toxic positivity might seem harmless, unfortunately this isn’t true. Toxic positivity can cause feelings of shame, isolation (when people feel unable to share their emotions), stigma and even negatively impact self-esteem.

How to avoid dosing yourself with toxic positivity:

  • Acknowledge that negative emotions are normal and natural,
  • Rather than hiding those emotions, have a go at naming them,
  • Seek support from those that are not likely to slap you with toxic positivity.

How to not dose others with toxic positivity:

  • Avoid these platitudes when someone is suffering “it’s all for a reason’, “it will be ok”, “look on the bright side” try instead something more like “that really sucks”, “that is going to be hard to adjust to”.
  • Support others to talk about negative emotions (parents this is really important for kids of all ages).
  • Don’t tell anyone they need to ‘move to a higher frequency’. [Disclaimer, If you ignore this free advice, don’t complain to me when someone shoots you].
  • Because you are human and toxic positivity messages are being rammed down your throat from everywhere-which-where … you will probably slip up (I do). Simply apologise and try again.

Of course you can also sign up to the KAN (Kick Arse Now) PLAN and learn alternative ways to manage difficult emotions and reach your goals. With zero manifesting or toxic positivity. You’ll pay actual hard earned money (199NZD to be exact), and do actual work. No magic, no instant cures, no manifesting wealth and wellness.

Yours as Ever

Dr Rachel

The Evidence-Based Coach

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